Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Pigs! What's the matter with Pigs these days??

Usually after work we have a meeting. Today it was canceled. At first I was a little glad. My son has soccer practice at the same time and to this day I can't be two places at the same time.

I took him to practice beneath an overcast sky, dropped him off and headed for the store. (Two kids are easier to wrangle). I picked up a few items and then when asked the question "Paper or plastic?" asked for paper. Inside the store I don't get cell reception and I also cannot monitor the weather. I left the store 20 minutes later to a torrential downpour and a missed call from my son's coach. (It's always good to be that mom. The one who only signs her kid up for soccer because it's an inexpensive form of babysitting. Awesome!)

On the way home I remembered it was our day to feed the pigs, so we made a U-turn and headed to the pig pen without bothering to go home and change clothes. (Pigs are not known for their placid ways. Maybe pigs like "Babe" and "Wilbur", but not real pigs.) All day long pigs have five things to do: eat, sleep, drink, poop, and think of ways to get out. These pigs had chosen the latter.

I was wearing my platform flip flops and a white and teal striped sun-dress; not exactly prime attire for chasing pigs through wet elements. Fortunately, there were a pair of irrigation boots just inside the barn. Hiking up my skirts, I stepped into the boots and tried not to think what my toes might be brushing up against (I once put on a pair only to find that a mouse had made its home in the toe. The experience still makes me somewhat wary of irrigation boots).

This left me with another problem. The outside of the boots were not clean and I was still in a white dress. Problem solving, I held my skirt up with one hand and used the other to drive the pigs back into the pen. One chewed on my abandoned flip-flop, so I might have driven her in a bit more forcefully than the others. (It's not like you can pick up another pair of those at your local Payless).

We checked the food (check) and water (pretty low). The irrigation water near the barn hasn't been turned on and the tap for the culinary water is at the front of the property while the barn is at the back. Still holding my skirt at a less than modest level, I dragged the hoses across the acre to the culinary water spigot. Then I turned it on and walked back across the property to make sure there were no twists or kinks in the hose. I got to the barn and told my son I was going back up to the car port to stand out of the rain and that he should holler when the barrel was full so I could turn the water off. Again, I traipsed back across the property.

Just as I found a relatively dry spot beneath the carport (one of the hoses has a leak and was spraying) I heard my daughter - who had been told to wait in the car - "Mom! He's Pooing!"

Barns without water are certainly ill-equipped with indoor plumbing. Back across the property to the van to discuss bathroom habits with the youngest. At this point I will stray from the tale to interject that if I put all the groceries into one bag, instructed him to "go" in the bag and wiped his backside with a the receipt, I will never admit to it. It might be that it happened or it could be that this was merely my well-thought-out back up plan in case he couldn't hold it.

Back across the property, skirts hiked up, in the rain, to the car port. Eventually my other son yelled that the barrel was full so I turned the water off, disconnected the hose, and (one-handed) dragged the hose back across the property so that it didn't kill out the lawn in the front yard.

We piled into the van and drove home where I grabbed the overloaded grocery bag, which promptly split and scattered groceries all over the driveway (Who asks for paper on a rainy day??? Morons, that's who!)

We live in a desert, one that is struggling with another year of drought. Two weeks ago, I looked at my parched lawn and thought It's only April. How are we going to make it through another summer? Needless to say, I've been praying for rain. When one lives in a region such as this, he or she becomes highly dependent on the Lord for adequate precipitation. Granted I don't have to have a lawn and it's not like I can eat my flowers, but women don't have to wear makeup and dye their hair. The fact is I appreciate simple beauty in a garden and we have taken measures to use less water, plant resilient plants, and make sure the water goes and stays where it's needed. Even so, when there is a good rainstorm I can't help but think Good job, God, because while a good portion of the world considers it a phenomenon of high and low pressure and nature, I know that there is a Heavenly Father who is very aware of His children.

Also - despite my best efforts- my white dress ... isn't.


  1. I'm sorry about your dress. What a story! Did you get your young soccer player before feeding the pigs? I was picturing him standing in the rain in his soccer uniform. I suspect the coach would take him home before that happened, though. ;)

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